If the title above makes you uncomfortable- maybe a little twitchy, like you need to stretch a bit- you’re who I’m writing this for. Five years ago I handed in my resignation and walked away from a beloved teaching career. After giving birth to my first son who happened to have an extreme dairy sensitivity, it made sense to take some time away and be at home with my boy. I looked forward to being a stay at home mom, but I could never have foreseen the loss I would feel. At the time, I quietly fought the decision like a wild animal caught in a net- writhing within myself, battling it out in my head with self judgment and shame as my weapons of choice. I was blessed to be given the option to stay home with my child- so why was the decision so difficult? I loved my son immeasurably more than a career- so what was the real issue?

God and I had many conversations about giving up my career, and most left me anxious, and wondering why He would ever ask me to give up my career dreams. Motherhood fulfilled me in ways I could never describe, and yet I still felt as though “Teacher” was who I was. Did you catch that? It wasn’t just what I did. It was how I identified myself. It was my identity. 

What I did was not who I was. Whether I was teaching a child to read or scraping sweet potatoes off  our kitchen blinds, my worth remained the same. It took me a very long time to accept this. A. Very. Long. Time. And through it all- every angry prayer I shouted silently, every demand I made knowing that He owed me no response- He patiently waited. He waited until I took off the professional title I defiantly held in a white knuckled grip and wore the one I was meant to wrap myself in: Beloved Daughter of God. Chosen. Cherished.

Have you ever held on when He asked you to let go? Does letting go of a dream feel like letting go of yourself? Let me tell you a secret- He’s actually asking you to find who He’s created you to be.

It can feel like all of the effort you’ve spent achieving a goal, a dream, a relationship, is down the drain- but it isn’t. God uses everything- every-thing- to bring you to where you need to be. My time spent at home with my children is worth more than any credential or title.

It wasn’t a detour- it was placing me on a new and better path. I know that now. Every giggle, every snuggle- and yes, every chicken nugget picked up off the floor, is worthy of my time and my submission to His calling on my life- to stay home, stay near to Him, and reach out to others who may be resisting His call to let go and follow Him.

If He’s asking you to let go- do it. Find your purpose. He’s waiting.

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